Sunday, February 13, 2005
I'm under a lot of stress these days, and it's really making a mess of my life. Firstly, there's this "girl," we'll call her "Girl X." To protect the innocent, I won't disclose any touchy details, but I'll just say that there is a slight bit of a situation going on, one in which there is a great deal of terrifying uncertainty for me. An uncertainty that has been going on for many weeks now, and it's playing hell with my nerves. It just keeps getting prolonged, and even though I've tried to solve it, I don't know if more direct attempts would be prudent. Vague enough for you?
Heart attack!
Secondly, I have no idea where I'm going to live next year. I was planning on getting a place with Danny and Jesse, but now Jesse tells me he wants to get a two-bedroom place with just me, and now I'm in the typical situation of having a choice between screwing somebody or screwing somebody else.
Ulcer!
Finally, I spent the entire day in Oskaloosa today, playing rehearsals. I have to go BACK to Oskaloosa tomorrow, to play the concert. I'm playing in an orchestra that's playing with a jazz band. I hate Oskaloosa. Yes, this is a more short term stressor, but a stressor nonetheless.
Mental breakdown!
Yesterday, I performed my ukulele song at No Shame. Incredibly, even though the lyrics were right there in front of me, I screwed it up twice. I am not good at performing. I don't have the necessary presence of mind to not screw things up. Oh well, the audience seemed to enjoy the song.
Help! My life is a whirlwind of caffeine and booze. I need a vacation.
Heart attack!
Secondly, I have no idea where I'm going to live next year. I was planning on getting a place with Danny and Jesse, but now Jesse tells me he wants to get a two-bedroom place with just me, and now I'm in the typical situation of having a choice between screwing somebody or screwing somebody else.
Ulcer!
Finally, I spent the entire day in Oskaloosa today, playing rehearsals. I have to go BACK to Oskaloosa tomorrow, to play the concert. I'm playing in an orchestra that's playing with a jazz band. I hate Oskaloosa. Yes, this is a more short term stressor, but a stressor nonetheless.
Mental breakdown!
Yesterday, I performed my ukulele song at No Shame. Incredibly, even though the lyrics were right there in front of me, I screwed it up twice. I am not good at performing. I don't have the necessary presence of mind to not screw things up. Oh well, the audience seemed to enjoy the song.
Help! My life is a whirlwind of caffeine and booze. I need a vacation.
